Episode 187: How to embrace heartache, alchemize emotions, and harness vulnerability with allie michelle
Feeling your feelings can be really hard, but it's necessary for living a full life...and we can do hard things. This episode will help us learn to alchemize our emotions and, as today’s guest so perfectly says, “find the strength it takes to be soft.”
Feeling your feelings can be really hard, but it's necessary for living a full life...and we can do hard things. This episode will help us learn to alchemize our emotions and, as today’s guest so perfectly says, “find the strength it takes to be soft.”
I called in the queen of turning pain into beauty: The wise, talented, and incredibly lovely @alliemichellel, who captures the depths of human emotion through her beautiful writing and spoken word. It can feel overwhelming to be a sensitive empath in the world today, but our sensitivity is our superpower, and our grief is just a representation of how deeply we love.
@alliemichellel is a 3x Best-selling author and spoken word artist. She's one of my favourite poets, and her new fantasy novel, Legends of Lemuria, comes out this February on @thoughtcatalog (but you can pre-order it now))! Allie runs Pen 2 Publish, a program to help writers create, publish and market their books, she co-founded a community for mental health and wellness called We Are Warriors, and she's also a certified meditation, breathwork and yoga teacher.
Tune in as we chat about:
Feeling deeply without being consumed by it
Unhealthy VS healthy empathy, and navigating life as sensitive souls
How to actively process pain and difficult emotions
Inner child work
The power of embracing heartbreak
Using fear as a positive compass VS a deterrent
Finding your voice as a storyteller
Showing up as your most raw, unmasked self
The art of really breathing
PS: If you’ve been toying with the idea of launching a podcast but aren’t sure where to start or how to grow, check our consulting services at teachmehowtoadult.ca/howtopodcast!
If you have a topic you’d like us to cover or a guest you want us to interview, comment or DM us on Instagram:
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Episode 161: How to take accountability for your baggage, heal your triggers, and deal with other people’s shit
All of us have baggage, whether it’s from bad relationships, broken homes, friendship drama, or toxic work environments — and more often than not, these past traumas aren’t even our fault! But it’s still our job to manage how we allow these past problems to impact our relationships and experiences today.
If you’re easily triggered, quick to overreact, or constantly carrying your past into the present moment… it’s time to take accountability for your baggage. And if you’ve got more bags than Kim Kardashian, this one’s definitely for you!
All of us have baggage, whether it’s from bad relationships, broken homes, friendship drama, or toxic work environments — and more often than not, these past traumas aren’t even our fault! But it’s still our job to manage how we allow these past problems to impact our relationships and experiences today.
We’re here to help you understand what your baggage is, how it shows up, who is usually on the receiving end of it, and how you’ll manage it — all while sharing our own shit that we’re still working through.
Tune in as we dive into:
What causes the majority of our baggage
How we’re learning not to take on other people’s baggage
The way our triggers show up in relationships, work, parenting, and money
Being self-aware and responsible for healing your past
Self-regulating techniques to manage your triggers
Rewriting your narrative and reclaiming your past stories
How therapy, coaching, and open communication have helped
It really is empowering to reclaim your past, choose a new narrative for the future, and take responsibility for your own happiness. Let’s do the damn work!
PS: If you’ve been toying with the idea of launching a podcast but aren’t sure where to start or how to grow, check our consulting services at teachmehowtoadult.ca/howtopodcast!
If you have a topic you’d like us to cover or a guest you want us to interview, comment or DM us on Instagram:
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Episode 110: How To Be More Compassionate Towards Yourself And Others
We humans are social creatures, we thrive on community and connection. But in these times of social media comparison and cancel culture, it can feel like we’ve lost sight of something vital — compassion. With mean girls dominating the news cycle, we thought this would be the perfect time to get deep and teach ourselves a lesson on the importance of compassion, how to give it to others and most importantly, how to give it to ourselves.
At its core, compassion is about putting aside judgment and making an effort to understand the struggles within ourselves and others. It helps us create meaningful connections, build healthy relationships, and develop emotional intelligence, which coincidentally all make for a well-adjusted adult! We’re all a lot more similar than we are different so let’s get positive (but not in a toxic way we promise).
We humans are social creatures, we thrive on community and connection. But in these times of social media comparison and cancel culture, it can feel like we’ve lost sight of something vital — compassion. With mean girls dominating the news cycle, we thought this would be the perfect time to get deep and teach ourselves a lesson on the importance of compassion, how to give it to others and most importantly, how to give it to ourselves.
At its core, compassion is about putting aside judgment and making an effort to understand the struggles within ourselves and others. It helps us create meaningful connections, build healthy relationships, and develop emotional intelligence, which coincidentally all make for a well-adjusted adult! We’re all a lot more similar than we are different so let’s get positive (but not in a toxic way we promise).
Tune in as we chat about:
What compassion actually means
The difference between pity, sympathy, empathy and compassion
The importance of finding similarities with others
How assuming positive intent can shift your mindset
Why we should validate someone before trying to find solutions
How to hold space for someone's pain
Using the "RAIN" method to cultivate self-compassion
Gill's favourite Loving-Kindness mediation for next-level compassion
We hope this episode helps you have more compassion for the people in your life, but most importantly, for yourself.
If you have a topic you’d like us to cover or a guest you want us to interview, comment or DM us on Instagram:
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Episode 75: Teach Me How To Build Resilience and Master My Mindset, with Leisse Wilcox | Summer Rewind
For the rest of the summer, we’re doing a Summer Rewind, re-releasing some of our must-listen episodes as we ramp up to the launch of season two. See you in September friends!
Change and adversity are the only constant in this life, and if this year has taught us anything, it’s that the more you focus on building a solid foundation within yourself, the more external chaos you can handle.
For the rest of the summer, we’re doing a Summer Rewind, re-releasing some of our must-listen episodes as we ramp up to the launch of season two. See you in September friends!
It feels like change and adversity are the only constant in this life, and if this year has taught us anything, it’s that the more you focus on building a solid foundation within yourself, the more external chaos you can handle.
Shifting our mindsets, perception and reactions is far from easy, but that’s the key to healthily recovering from turmoil and trauma. So, we called in mindset and success coach Leisse Wilcox to teach us everything we need to know about how to cultivate mental resilience and turn whatever life throws at you into a beautiful story.
And Liesse is not just your average coach. She is a coveted mindset coach, podcast host, AND bestselling author, who is changing the global conversation on emotional health & wellness. She literally wrote the book on turning adversity into opportunities for growth, joy and beauty.
Listen to our chat with Liesse to learn more about:
Our tools for bouncing back from adversity
Why your mindset matters
The meaning of emotional alchemy (turning the dark and heavy pieces of your life into something beautiful and light)
Leisse’s 10 steps to cultivating emotional alchemy
How to avoid toxic positivity and *actually* deal with your sh*t
Ways to process and feel your feelings
How to make a difficult life change with grit and grace
The importance of staying in the present moment and “zooming out”
Why gratitude is the key to mindset
We hope this episode helps you center yourself and find grace in these ~unprecedented~ times.
If you have a topic you’d like us to cover or a guest you want us to interview, comment or DM us on Instagram:
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Episode 66: How To Ditch Toxic Positivity and Feel for Real, with Psychotherapist Whitney Goodman
Unpopular opinion: It’s NOT always healthy to find the silver lining in everything. Some things just suck, and we don’t always need to look on the bright side, at the expense of *actually* processing hard feelings.
Our culture is obsessed with a “good vibes only,” and “everything happens for a reason” state of mind that makes us feel like we’re failing if we’re not happy 100% of the time. Trying to see the positive isn’t always positive, sometimes shit happens that doesn’t make us stronger, and we’re ready to break up with toxic positivity so we can fully experience our emotions AND our loved ones’ feelings. (Because nothing is worse than platitudes.)
Unpopular opinion: It’s NOT always healthy to find the silver lining in everything. Some things just suck, and we don’t always need to look on the bright side, at the expense of *actually* processing hard feelings.
Our culture is obsessed with a “good vibes only,” and “everything happens for a reason” state of mind that makes us feel like we’re failing if we’re not happy 100% of the time. Trying to see the positive isn’t always positive, sometimes shit happens that doesn’t make us stronger, and we’re ready to break up with toxic positivity so we can fully experience our emotions AND our loved ones’ feelings. (Because nothing is worse than platitudes.)
So this week we called in author and psychotherapist, Whitney Goodman, to help us ditch toxic positivity and get real with our emotions. Whitney is the author of the book Toxic Positivity, a columnist for Psychology Today and appears regularly in publications like The New York Times and Teen Vogue.
No one should have to pretend that everything’s ok when it isn’t, so if you’re looking for some validation, you’ve come to the right place!
Join us as we chat about:
The signs of toxic positivity and why it gets in the way of your healing
Finding the balance between optimism, negativity and toxic positivity
How to deal with friends and family who dismiss your struggles
The productive VS annoying way to complain
The impact of social media on toxic positivity
How to show up for others in a supportive way
We hope this episode helps you deal with your shit and feel all of your very valid feelings.
Follow Whitney:
Toxic Positivity: Keeping It Real in a World Obsessed with Being Happy
If you have a topic you’d like us to cover or a guest you want us to interview, comment or DM us on Instagram:
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Episode 26: How to Negotiate Like A boss
How different would your life be if you weren’t afraid to ask for what you deserve?
In this week’s episode, we’re talking all things negotiation and how to confidently go after the things you want with negotiation expert Fotini Iconomopolous.
How different would your life be if you weren’t afraid to ask for what you deserve?
In this week’s episode, we’re talking all things negotiation and how to confidently go after the things you want in life, with negotiation expert Fotini Iconomopoulos!
A lot of us don’t even realize that anytime you want someone to say "yes” to something, you're actually entering a negotiation. So whether it’s saying yes to a raise, to buying your product, to buying a house, or to ordering in from YOUR favourite restaurant...you, friends, are already negotiating!
And here’s the thing: Negotiations are not about bulldozing others so you can get your way...it’s about creating a collaboration that helps both parties get what they want. It’s about confidence, clear communication, listening and empathy, and when you break it down like that, a lot of us already have these skills—we just need to apply them!
Fotini dives into all of this and more. She’s been helping people get what they want for decades through her new book, keynotes, workshops and virtual courses, which teach the negotiation and communication skills required to navigate any scenario. She teaches MBA Negotiations at the Schulich School of Business at York University, and in April 2021, Fotini is releasing her first book “Say Less, Get More: Unconventional Negotiation Techniques to Get What You Want”, so stay tuned for that!
Listen to our chat to learn more about:
3️⃣ 3 ways to practise negotiating on a daily basis: 6:29
🤝All the ways you don’t realize you’re negotiating: 12:47
🙅♀️What’s holding most women back from asking for what they want: 15:10
🗣The most effective language to use and phrases to avoid: 19:07
🤫 Why pauses are okay and key to any negotiation: 24:26
🔑Key body language cues to look out for: 29:35
🧠 How emotional intelligence is crucial in a negotiation: 37:03
😠 The difference between being assertive and aggressive: 41:16
🙋🏾♀️How to ask for a raise in 2021: 43:13
👍 Easy ways to brush up on your negotiation skills: 49:38
We hope this episode inspires you to go after what you want and ask for what you deserve!
Connect with Fotini:
linkedin.com/in/fotiniiconomopoulos/
Courses, books and resources mentioned:
Chris Voss Masterclass
Never Split the Difference: Negotiating As If Your Life Depended On It - by Chris Voss
If you have a topic you’d like us to cover or a guest you want us to interview, comment or DM us on Instagram:
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Episode 23: How to Champion a Diverse & Inclusive Workplace
We had the privilege of talking with Karlyn Percil about the racial pandemic we’re still facing, and the state of diversity and equality in the workplace, and what we can do to make businesses more inclusive. Because equitable work is a key to breaking the cycle of oppression, and the right to earn a living in a safe, inclusive workplace is a basic human right.
In this episode, we learned how to use emotional intelligence and positive psychology to help create equal opportunities for BIPOC employees, to shift hiring practices and dated work cultures, and to eliminate harmful microaggressions that prevent employees from feeling safe enough to bring their whole selves to work.
Diversity shouldn’t be a trend, it should be a standard.
We had the privilege of talking with Karlyn Percil about the racial pandemic we’re still facing, and the state of diversity and equality in the workplace, and what we can do to make businesses more inclusive.
Because equitable work is a key to breaking the cycle of oppression, and the right to earn a living in a safe, inclusive workplace is a basic human right.
In this episode, we learned how to use emotional intelligence and positive psychology to help create equal opportunities for BIPOC employees, to shift hiring practices and dated work cultures, and to eliminate harmful microaggressions that prevent employees from feeling safe enough to bring their whole selves to work.
While it is 100% *our* job as white women to educate ourselves on systemic racism and how to be an anti-racist ally, we’re so grateful that Certified Emotional Intelligence and Neuro-Life Coach Karlyn Percil spent time chatting with us about how to leverage bravery, leadership, empathy and vulnerability to create more equitable and safe workplaces for BIPOC communities.
Karlyn has dedicated her career to increasing emotional intelligence in the workforce and helping corporations plan and execute Diversity, Equity and Inclusion strategies. She’s the CEO of KDPM Consulting, the Founder of SisterTalk Group, and she spreads her infectiously positive and empowering mindset tools on talk shows like CityLine, on CBC and in the pages of Forbes and Refinery29.
Listen to our chat with Karlyn to learn more about:
The current state of racial diversity in the workplace: 2:05
Changes you can make right now to promote inclusivity and diversity at work: 3:00
Why corporate “Listening and Learning” sessions are missing the mark, and how to improve them: 15:35
The reality of changing “company culture”: 21:39
What microaggressions sound like and how to take accountability: 22:30
Why you will 100% screw up on your anti-racism journey, and why you should keep going out of your comfort zone: 24:28
Using emotional intelligence to examine defensiveness, shame and fear: 30:16
How to be a better ally through Karlyn’s LEAP strategy: 31:30
The hiring practices that ensure inclusivity and equity: 36:10
How to respond to racial injustice and getting “called in” on social media: 51:08
We hope this episode inspires you to take action in your workplace and further your journey to becoming an ally.
Follow Karlyn:
Get Karlyn’s 2021 Success Planner!