How To Stop Overthinking
If you’re an overthinker like us, overanalyzing decisions can be paralyzing in day-to-day life and create a ton of unnecessary stress… and TBH, it’s usually over something we won’t even remember in a week! Overthinking is insanely prevalent in young people and can hold us back from living our best lives. But the good news is you’re not alone and we’ve got the cheat code for how to take control of your thoughts!
Overthinking patterns are learned, which means they can be unlearned. The key is to identify what’s causing you to overthink and then change your mindset. So here’s our guide to tackling overthinking — call it a free therapy session!
Types of Negative Thinking:
Let’s start by identifying what’s going on inside of our heads. It’s important to distinguish these thought patterns because while some decisions are worth mulling over, others are not.
Ruminating Thoughts: These are excessive thoughts about negative experiences and feelings. Ruminating thoughts are especially common in perfectionists and people who have experienced trauma, depression, or anxiety. These thought patterns can actually contribute to more depression as they tend to focus on pessimistic thinking and cognitive distortions.
Eg. Obsessing over something you said in a meeting and worrying about how everyone probably perceives you now because of what you said, and thinking to yourself that you should never speak up in a meeting again because you’re bad at your job.
Persistent Worrying: These thoughts are all about negative, catastrophic predictions about the future. When we dwell on the things we can’t control or fixate on what’s certain through a negative lens, that’s persistent worrying.
Eg. Freaking out over a presentation or a job interview and thinking about everything that *could* go wrong, then spiralling into thoughts like, “I’ll never get a new job, I’ll never get promoted, I’ll never be able to afford a home.”
There’s nothing wrong with analyzing big life decisions or running through scenarios so you can problem solve, but if these worrying or ruminating thoughts are constant or you’re finding yourself obsessing over every little thing, it can be a symptom of otherthinking.
But here’s the key: action is the best antidote! So let’s get into the solutions with some expert-backed tips that will give your mind a break!
Designated “Worry Time”
Adrian Wells is a clinical psychologist at the University of Manchester who founded metacognitive therapy, a fancy term that basically means thinking about thinking. Wells discovered that overthinking is a learned strategy that we use to deal with allll of our problems and decisions. It’s a habit, not a fixed innate trait, which means we can change it! Thoughts and worries are inevitable, but we get to decide how much time and attention we give them. Think of it like a phone call. You don’t get to decide when the phone rings or who is calling you, but you do get to choose whether you answer the call or stay on the task you were working on.
A great strategy for dealing with triggering thoughts is to carve out designated “worry time.” We know this may sound counterproductive, but setting a specific time where you allow yourself to indulge these thoughts and worries freely can help you take back control. Try scheduling a 20-minute period every day and taking that time to let your worries flow and to think through them. When your mind starts spiralling throughout the day, you can acknowledge them and then come back to them later.
Pro tip: Make sure to set your “worry time” during a time of the day when you’re thinking most clearly. Negative thoughts can intensify at night, so try to make decisions during the day and get some peace of mind for a good night’s sleep!
Rewrite your Story
Overthinkers often tell themselves, “I’ve always been a worrier” or “I’m just naturally more anxious”, but these are stories that hold us back and create limiting beliefs. Our emotions can interfere with our ability to look at situations objectively, so take a step back and look at the hard evidence. Ask yourself, “What are the stories I’m telling myself, and what are the facts?” Equip yourself with facts rather than worries so you’re not operating from a place of uncertainty.
Taking back Control
When life feels out of control we often fall into patterns of overthinking. We can take back control by changing the direction of our thoughts and focusing on problem-solving instead. If you’re fixated on worrying about what someone else may be thinking, change the focus to what you can do right now to feel better.
In some cases, figuring out the worst-case scenario can help you gain control and overcome the fear of “what if?” For the most part, the worst possible outcome is never as catastrophic as we think. We make mistakes, we learn, we grow, and the world keeps spinning.
Trick your Brain
Sometimes, you gotta play yourself. Replace pervasive thoughts with something new or different. Whether it’s a more positive thought, or an activity, it will redirect your mind and stop the spiral.
Eg. If you can’t stop thinking about something that’s out of your control like the results of a health test, replace that thought with something new to focus on that you can control, like what colour scheme you want to use for when you repaint your house, or pressing play on a workout video.
Pro tip: Psychologists say that re-watching your favourite shows can ease anxious thinking because we know what’s coming. So if you need a fast solution, this is a great go-to (it also doubles as the perfect excuse to watch The Office for the tenth time).
Challenge your Perfectionism
Perfectionism is one of the biggest blockers to decision-making. It can lead us to believe that if we don’t make the “correct” choice, or know absolutely everything there is to know, then we’ll fail. But we can challenge that by asking ourselves simple, incremental questions like:
What’s one thing I could do today that would bring me closer to my goal?
Based on the information I have, what’s the best next step?
Building up our own confidence and belief in our abilities is also an important tool. Imposter syndrome happens to the best of us, but reminding yourself that you deserve to be where you are and that you have the skills to succeed can diminish your doubt and help you take that next big step.
Gain Perspective
Perspective is EVERYTHING. If you’re obsessing over a decision or just can’t make one, try the 10/10/10 test. How will you feel about the decision in 10 weeks, 10 months, or 10 years from now? While our minds like to be dramatic, usually our daily decisions aren’t as impactful long-term as our minds would like us to believe.
It also helps to bounce your thoughts off of someone else. We tend to only see situations through our own experiences but talking it through and getting a third party opinion can help us see additional outcomes and combat negative thinking.
Practice Mindfulness
Identify overthinking before it spirals out of control and take a minute to reset. If you’re feeling anxious about a big presentation, try doing a short meditation or some deep breathing and re-centre yourself. Remind yourself that no one wants to see you fail, and TBH everyone is much more focused on themselves than they are on you. A short moment of mindfulness can calm your mind, lower your heart rate, and bring you back to the facts of the situation. Check out our 5 minute meditation with mindfulness expert Nina Purewall here!
We hope these tips help free you from overthinking patterns and curb that spiralling mind. Our brain is a powerful thing, but remember, you control your thoughts, they don’t control you.